Getting back to work with confidence

Date: December 14, 2011 Author: Workingmums.co.uk Share: Email to friend

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“I’ve been out of work looking after my kids for seven years. I don’t know what I can offer the world of work, but I need to get a job. What should I do?” This is fairly typical of the kind of pleas for help we receive at Workingmums.co.uk from mums who are looking to return to work after time off looking after small children. Even those who have only taken maternity leave off tend to suffer to some degree from falling confidence.

It’s not surprising since the emotional turmoil that comes with adapting to having a child is huge and it can make you feel like you have entered a new life, leaving your old self a long way behind. You may even barely remember that old self. One woman I spoke to recently who suffered from post-natal depression put it mainly down to what she called “an identity crisis” brought about by morphing from a career woman to a mum. She still had her job, but all her ideas about herself had changed.

After months of being stuck at home trying to grapple with sleepless nights and a small fragile life that is utterly dependent on you 24 hours a day, going back to work can seem like entering an alien world from a long distant past.

Small things like how to use computer programmes can seem enormous simply because you haven’t done them for a while.

What you need to focus on, though, is not the idea that being out of the workplace has deskilled you. No, what you have been on is to a certain extent the equivalent of an intensive management training programme. Parenting helps you develop a forte for communication skills, multi-tasking and patience as well as the kind of survival skills old-fashioned adventurers would be proud of.

In fact, Penny Mansfield of One Plus One is working with Working Families on a report to promote the kind of transferable skills parents bring to the workplace.

So there’s no need to think of your CV as a big blank void if you’ve been devoting a few months or years to parenting. It’s more about how you present and think about yourself. You haven’t been doing nothing for the last few years.

You have in fact gained huge skills. Working is a walk in the park in comparison. If you are returning to the same field you left, the essentials will have remained the same. You may need to brush up on IT and office procedures, but you did the job before. You can do it again.

On your CV, mention any voluntary work you have done, for instance, for the school parent teachers’ association. The main hurdle, though, is confidence. Being clear about childcare can help with this, as can having flexible work which enables you to do everything without getting too stressed is important and keeping your mind on the positives for you and your family.

You may be feeling doubly unconfident due to the current economic situation – there’s a lot of competition around for jobs, but if there is no rush to find a job you can take your time, test the waters, get work experience and make contacts.

The important thing is to feel good about yourself and your choices and this will come through.

Image: Shutterstock

By Workingmums.co.uk

Mandy Garner is editor of Workingmums.co.uk, the UK's number one female-focused jobs and community site. The site advertises flexible…

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